Mental Notes 1

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A number of great frameworks have emerged, each offering a different perspective by which to discuss principles of human behavior. Some of my favorites:. As an example, when it came to write the chapter in my book that comments on gamification, I started by focusing on 8 principles that I consider core motivators; this includes things like Curiosity, Competition, or Self-Expression.

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Designing for emotion has attracted a lot of attention over the last several years. The bad news is that the conversation often narrows in on very a specific set of examples, namely those things that excite the brain. While this is certainly important, it ignores much of what is or should be included in conversations around emotion.

For example, without emotions, we are unable to make decisions.


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The field of behavioral economics has essentially shown that we are not rational creatures. Our motivations are often irrational—why else would we care about mayorships or closing an information gap? I was recently invited to do an internal keynote where the theme was designing for emotions. I was struggling to adapt my talk essentially about human behaviors to the emotional design theme; this is when the gap between what I normally discuss and the more popular emotional design conversations became evident. Opportunity: I could open by talking about humor, delight, visual imagery, and then segue into the broader view of what it means to really design for emotions, thinking about how we make decisions, how we perceive things, what motivates us and what reinforces those motivations.

This is not a 6 sided die you roll. Each side is a lens by which to organize principles of human behavior. As you change the focal point, a different cluster of things rises to face you. It is this metaphor freed me up to suggest 5 different groupings or ways to discuss the principles of human behavior identified in the Mental Notes card deck. To be clear, these lenses all compliment each other nicely, and the boundaries between the focal areas are fuzzy lines, not hard distinctions.

But, I feel like this is a great structure for moving forward the practical design conversations focused on principles of human behavior. Then we can talk about ways to encourage that behavior. We can then talk about ways to excite people, influence decisions, and so on. The Mental Notes Behavior Cube. So… enjoy!

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Let me know your thoughts and how this might work for you! Here are some of my tried and true tips for effectively negotiating with your sometimes bratty, sometimes frightened, sometimes just OVER IT inner child to keep it safely strapped in its car-seat and allow you to the freedom to drive your own life. Practical ideas for pushing past fear, apathy and inertia, to get the results you want out of yourself.

Going One Inch Past Scary. Any growth, healing and major accomplishment requires us to look ahead and commit to the process. In this episode, I talk about a couple of recent experiences where I used intentional and slightly scary methods to break lifelong patterns and reach the next level in both my healing and my goals. Do you have a sense of being stuck and unable to get out of your own way? Do you sense that you could be doing more with your life? Maybe you are trapped in the cycle of addiction or feeling helplessly weighed down by depression and anxiety.

Do you start a lot of things and never finish or are you maybe too afraid to even start, or even to dream if more? This episode talks about why we do this and gives helpful concrete steps for overcoming these cycles.

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Growing up Gabe. Coping with triggers for a happier holiday. The holiday season can be difficult for many people but it can be notoriously painful for people who have experienced trauma. Practical ideas for how to proactively recognise and manage triggers for yourself and others you may gather with this season. I include many tips for handling stress, depression and anxiety in general during this intense season. This is for anyone and everyone who wants to have a happier and more functional year end regardless of whether you choose to celebrate or not.

Being a better helper.

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My awesome friend Doug Lang and I chat about how to be a helpful support to people when they reach out to us in crisis. Doug was such a stalwart, creative super support to me during the worst phase of my PTSD.


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  5. We also talk about the importance of taking care of ourselves, and how to create boundaries to avoid helper burnout. Holly Hinckley and I have been acquainted for years but our relationship really became cemented as I became increasingly public and even vitriolic on social media about the Mormon faith after I left it. I lost most of my Mormon friends during this time which was not unexpected nor surprising but it was and continues to be painful. I was increasingly intrigued though as I watched Holly remain steadfast in her affection and interactions toward me.


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    She didn't unfriend, she never unfollowed. She never had an angry retort. What was weird is that nobody I knew had higher personal stakes in the Mormon church than her. Hinckley, Mormonism's equivalent of Pope Francis.

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    Her father has always held prominent positions in the church. Holly herself is a returned missionary and devout member of the faith. I reached out to express my gratitude for her friendship and ask her how she managed to maintain it given how angry and relentless I have been in decrying the church and it's leaders. In this conversation we talk about that, about maintaining relationships despite huge differences in beliefs she married into a non Mormon family her time spent in my Homeland, her parenting, and what it was like growing up as "Mormon royalty".

    I hope you will find this episode as fun, informative, helpful and life affirming as I did. Life Lessons with Jen V-H. A conversation with my friend Jen about our opposite experiences starting and ending in Ohio respectively with us meeting in the middle in the African Kingdom of Swaziland when we were We talk about the gift of travel, it can change the entire trajectory of your life no matter what your age , surviving and enjoying parenting by becoming accepting of pain and discomfort and how going to a college dive bar together fulfilled one of my lifelong ambitions.

    This conversation covers it all and was so much fun. Jen is wit and wisdom personified and I know you will find a nugget to enrich and enhance your life in this one! This is her story of navigating her sudden loss of faith free-fall, falling out of grace with the Mormon community where they had been shining stars and finding themselves happy and whole at the end of it.

    Never Mormons, faithful Mormons and ex-Mormons alike should find this one enlightening and fun. From hiding to healing. The agony of secondary abuse and how to combat it. Abuse victims are often subject to secondary abuse when they reveal the truth to a source they should be able to trust.

    My experience with the devastating consequences of that over the years, and why I ultimately felt forced to expose my abusive parents publicly. This is an important episode for survivors and allies alike. Speaking words of wisdom: Miss Cindi! Childhood development expert and one of my best friends Cindi Baum talks to me about how she creates a peaceful, intentional classroom.

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    Losing My Religion. I received confirmation of my resignation from the LDS Mormon church this week and it stirred up some stuff. I think this is a very balanced podcast and it has messages for those in and outside of the faith.

    Please check out ProtectLdsChildren.

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