I only hope Ella continues this possible series? ARC courtesy of author in exchange for an honest review Find me on View all 54 comments. I enjoy the estranged-to-reunited-lovers trope, and Finn and Brantley were so obsessed with one another, I could barely breathe.
The book dragged for me in the middle but picked up around the 7o percent mark. Considering that Finn returned to Florida to fuck Brantley out of his system, there was far more angsting than fucking. Nearly every review states that this book is a smutfest First things first: I liked Finley more than I liked Try , which is the only book I've read in the Temptation series. Nearly every review states that this book is a smutfest, but I really didn't get that. Also, let's be serious. There is nothing realistic about this book. And, yes, I know it's fiction, but it's also a contemporary romance, not a fantasy or paranormal.
No successful attorney drops everything and takes a vacation because he receives a five-word note from an ex-lover he hasn't talked to in seven years. No dedicated personal trainer smokes likes a chimney and can afford to build a state-of-the-art gym on the beach with an ocean view. In the States, you have to be 21 to be a dancer in a club that serves alcohol. What mother knows her son is fucking his professor and says nothing for ten years? And what professor can afford a multi-million dollar house? This book is all about the relationship, the push and pull between Brantley and Finn.
Brantley is sorry he made Finn go, and Finn is resentful understandably so that Brantley took the choice away from him. The internal monologuing ever prevalent in Try about killed me. No undergrad has the same professor more than once, maybe twice; I mean, it's not high school. So how was Brantley Finn's professor for more than three years? But the emotional struggle was real, people. I believed in the connection between the MCs, and the HEA, while awfully convenient, was sweet all around. No cliffhangers here! I am intrigued by Derek and Jordan, and would be tempted to read their story.
The visit with Logan and Tate, however? So random. I liked this book well enough. I just don't think Ella Frank's writing really clicks with me. ET TU?! Not that I don't appreciate the six-pack abs and long, thick cocks, but flaws are sexy too. As an aside, I want to move into Brantley's house like yesterday; damn, but those white billowing curtains and private beach? I can SO go for that. Try was a fail for me, but this book has so many awesome reviews, I'm giving it an honest go.
View all 59 comments. It was enjoyable but didn't wow me, unfortunately. But then hot professor sends his sexy gay student away to Chicago to study law because education is very important. Sexy student is no longer a student, he's a sexy lawyer now. He hates that his professor sent him away all those years ago. Meanwhile, he still can't get his professor out of his head.
Go home to Florida and fuck the professor out of his system. Will his plan work? There were sweet and hot moments between them but, unfortunately, not nearly enough to feel the chemistry. There are jumps in the story between past and present, which worked just fine. However, for me, there wasn't enough excitement going on and I found myself getting a bit bored in places. I did make it to the end though, so that's pretty good, all things considered.
I wanted more from him. All I knew was that he works as a professor, has 1 friend and his family lives somewhere up North. Felt like the whole story revolved around Finley, which, I suppose, makes sense View all 35 comments. Mar 13, S. West rated it it was amazing Shelves: broken , mm , arc , uber-sexy-hot-male-lead , alpha , sexy-as-fuck , dirty-mouth , favourties. And the feels!!
It was both selfish and completely unselfish at the same time. The inevitable reunion of Finn and Brantley would either be their ruin or their nirvana. And for a digestif, Ella weaves one tantalizing tidbit about Brantley's friend, Jordan, and Finn's friend, Derek, throughout this story that left me very curious That was goooddd!!
Full review to come.
My first Ella Frank, super excited! For more reviews and blog posts. View all 68 comments. And the reason for that was simple. He had never stopped in the first place. Hot damn Ella Frank!! You can write some seriously sexy men!! I'll keep this review nice and simple. Let's start with the positives: Sexual Tension - Wowza! Finley and Brantley had it in spades. These two oozed sex If they were in the same room together, the same house together, the same town together Chemistry - Please see above. All that sexual tension translated into some serious fire between the sheets.
Every kiss, every touch, every embrace was filled with affection and longing and soul deep passion. The secondary characters - Though most of them were only around briefly since the story centered primarily on Finley and Brantley, I still felt they were well developed and their presence only added to whatever scene they were in. None of the characters felt like throwaways. The tease of what's to come in this series - Oh yes, Ms. I like where you're going!! Bring it Bring it hard!! Double checks for the Logan and Tate cameo!
It was just the perfect snippet. They didn't overshadow the MC's, but it was just enough to put a huge smile on your face. The epilogue - One word Unfortunately, now I must address the negatives: All the internal dialogue - There was just way too much. For the first half of the book, Finley and Brantley didn't really discuss much of anything. And when they were talking, they weren't really "saying" much.
Most of the conflict took place during their internal dialogue rather than the two actually hashing things out. The plot, or lack thereof - Please see above. There really wasn't much plot here But what really broke my heart was when we finally get to the buildup of that pivotal moment seven years ago Overall, the book didn't live up to my expectations, but I still really enjoyed it. Ella Frank has an ease and effortlessness in her writing that really works and she'll continue to be an auto-buy author for me. It's Ella Frank View all 42 comments. Feb 18, Alba and Her Secrets..
I was just re-reading Ella's Temptation series love Logan and Tate!!! Finley is the first installment in the Sunset Cove series and it tells the story of Daniel 'Finn' Finley a successful Chicago lawyer who decides to go back to his hometown after recieving a note from the man that bro 4. Finley is the first installment in the Sunset Cove series and it tells the story of Daniel 'Finn' Finley a successful Chicago lawyer who decides to go back to his hometown after recieving a note from the man that broke his heart and Brantley Hayes a.
I really enjoy her writing style and I was delighted to see how she decided to organize the book. In other words, the mix between the present and the flashbacks was amazingly done. Everything connected perfectly and that way it got more intense every time! Brantley and Finn are both still affected by how their relationship ended: Daniel is angry at the Professor because he decided to push him away and not fight for their love. These two have great scenes together and obviously, as you all can imagine, they have smokin' hot chemistry: both, emotionally and phisically.
I loved this love story! It has great characters both main and secondary , a good plot and a sexy and loving couple. However, I have to say the story was a bit predictable and maybe the main characters spend too much time remembering the past. Besides that, everything was perfect! And I have to say, I cannot wait for the next book because Derek and Jordan seem to have a pretty interesting relationship lol Loved these characters!
Life had a funny way of giving you exactly what you needed. Exactly when you needed it. She writes awesome stories, seriously! And the sex is off-the-charts hot! So, if you want to enjoy a good MM love story, check Ella's books out! And if you have read her Temptation seires, I can assure you you will enjoy this one too. View all 46 comments. And yeah, while there wasn't much plot I still had those butterflies while reading. I could feel the tension, feel the chemistry. There was a lot of inner dialogue And at times the flashbacks did take me out of the story.
We'd 3. We'd be trucking along in the present Back to the past we go Still there's just something about Ella's writing that works for me. So yeah, I liked this one. It certainly didn't hurt that it was HAWT! View all 37 comments. A second chance MM standalone that also happens to be a spin-off from Ella Frank's Temptation series. One of my all time favourites. So it comes with no surprise that I was dying to read Finley. And I have to say it was a very good read. Sexy, emotional and all kinds of cute.
Brantley and Finn had a secret and slightly forbidden love affair back when Finn was in law school until one day Brantley driven by a fear of holding Finn back told him to go, finish his schooling in Chicago and to experience the world. Cut to seven year later. Finn is at a very different stage in his life. He is nothing like his former self. He is driven, domineering and very much in charge of his life.
He still resents Brantley for sending him away and over the years he has filled the hole in his heart with work and by becoming a brilliant lawyer. So what will happen when he goes home? There is not much movement or action. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, but if you are looking for twists and surprises this might not be the book for you. It's more of a character book.
How mostly Daniel has changed over the years, what consequences Brantley's actions had and if there is a way to go back to what they had. So yes, I have seen a lot of reviews mentioning lack of story. Who needs fancy twists when you can have two hot guys going at each other and such wonderfully crafted relationships. I'm not complaining. Brantley and Finn aren't as good as Logan and Tate by a long shot, but they sure manage to occupy your time for a good while.
And just between the two of us, there might be a cameo in store for you. View all 40 comments. Mar 18, Dee Montoya rated it it was amazing Shelves: best-of , angst , cover-crush , favorites , hot-alpha-male , erotica , h-o-t , arc , book-husband , favorite-author. Intense and very passionate also come to mind when I think about Finley.
I'm in love!!!!! Daniel Finley left his home in Florida with a broke 4. Daniel Finley left his home in Florida with a broken heart but with a lot of determination to graduate as a lawyer and become the best one he could be. Seven years of non-stop work has landed him a spot in one of the best law firms in Chicago. Daniel aka Finn has been unstoppable working towards his ultimate goal, to make partner.
But seven years of hard work mean nothing when he gets a note that says, it's time to come home. Professor Brantley Hayes has a very successful career and a gorgeous home by the beach, in a great town full of wonderful friends, but he knows deep inside him that something is missing, or rather someone Daniel was the student and Brantley was the professor. Ten years his senior Brantley tried to keep his distance from his gorgeous and bright college student but Finn was very determined and these two embark in a very hot romance.
Even though both men were smart and independent adults, Brantley knew that Finn had a bright future ahead of him, and he was the one that had to make the very painful decision of letting him go, so Finn could fulfill his future, even if that meant breaking his heart.
Now seven years later, the pain and attraction are very much still alive between these two ex-lovers, but what happens now when they meet again? Do they discover that they have both moved on, or will they be able to re-start their love? Ella Frank is a brilliant writer. She has the ability to create romantic stories that tease you to no end with the most seductive words you'll ever read. View all 33 comments. Feb 01, Parvathy rated it it was amazing Shelves: favorites , gay-book-reviews.
The book is the story of Daniel Finley and the man he had to leave behind in his home town, Brantley Hayes, and their second chance at their once in a life time love. This book is a beautiful story of two men who find their much awaited chance to reconnect and find their happily ever after.
I loved this book..!!! I loved the cha 5 Stars..! I loved the characters and the story, infact I loved every single thing in this book..!! The author has done a tremendous job in weaving a story which is heartfelt yet at the same time highly erotic. I loved both Finn and Brantley. They both were right from their point of view and the pain and hurt they conceal has been portrayed realistically yet in a manner bound to make our heart go out to them. What I really loved was how the author made them both reconnect and made them realize that they both still love each other.
The book throws light on how they both got together in the first place through flash backs and I do have to say that Finn is really endearing as a teenager. I simply adored him…!! I loved the way author has developed their bond. The love that they both have for each other is the deep profound once in a life time kind of love which will make us root for them through out the book..!!
The author has made them reconnect through their mind blowing sexual chemistry. To say that their chemistry is intense would just not be enough. It is so palpable that it got me hot and bothered as I read the book. Finn and Brantley together is explosive, passionate, intense and mind blowing hot. The author has done a fantastic job in building their sexual tension and the resultant effect is simply amazing. Finn wants sex with Brantley to get him out of his system and move on with life and Brantley is read to take whatever he gets from him.
What starts off as sex turns into love all over again for them..!! You are guaranteed to be on an awesome, fantabulous, sexy ride which will leave you wanting for more…!!! View all 30 comments. It was exactly what I need it! It was funny,super hot and sweet! I loved the characters so much!! Their passion is off the charts!!! These two when they are together they are so hot! I will read whatever Ella writes because her writting is simply addictive!! She is so brilliant,I'm always impressed with her stories! I highly recommend it to everyone!!
View all 32 comments. Feb 01, Elsbeth rated it it was amazing Shelves: worth-rereading , favorites-m-m , buddy-read-with-julie , top , author-ella-frank , m-m-romance-fiction. It had incredible UST, lovable characters and a wonderful romance. The hot lawyer that hit on Tate and Logan. So I was intrigued for his story.
The book starts when a 30 year old Finley receives a letter from home. Finn fell in love with his teacher instantly and stalked Brantley for his attention. Brantley tries to resist him for obvious reasons but is not able to resist the young Finn. He forces Finn to leave. The story picks up after 7 years and Finn has become a changed man.
I hate that you chose how we should end. And I fucking hate that you decided that my life was better off without you. They gave a good impression how their relationship worked in the beginning. Brantley, the experienced man with the young unexperienced and cocky Finn.
Seven years later we see their roles reversed. Finn is in charge and Brantley likes it. All he cared about was getting as close to Daniel as he could, for as long as he could. Who cares I'll read it. View all 12 comments. When concerning her MM books she does both in equal measure. I love this genre add that to Ella's fantastic writing ability you have one hell of an explosive read.
So what's it about? Finley was Brantley's student, back in the day when they first met. But when Finn wants something he goes for it and puts ha heart and soul into it. And yes he wanted his Professor, so yes there is a theme of secrecy when you delve into their past moments. But then Brantley wanted the best for his ex student and pushed him to move on and become something.
Thing with that it made Finn resent the man he loved. He's missing his heart so that's when he sends a letter to his love to come home And oh la la Finn decides to take him on.. Geils Band J. Cale - Number 10 J. Bach - Masters of Classical Music, Vol. Joe Jackson - Look Sharp! John Fogerty - Centerfield John G. Wiener Philharmoniker - Beethoven. Symphonien Nos. Guns - Hollywood Vampires L. De Falla - El sombrero de tres picos - El amor brujo M.
Rex - Unchained - Unreleased Recordings Vol. Rex - Unchained Vol. Rex - T. Album Marvelous 3 - ReadySexGo! So What! And Justice For All Metallica Disc I Metallica - Garage Inc. Singles - 4 4 Motown - Hitsville U. President - A Kind Of Olympic - The Best Of Olympic cd. Shostakovich - Piano and Chello Concertos P. If you had a number of d answers, you may want to focus on your conversation skills to become an escort. You are very organized and have considerable household management skills.
If you had some a answers, you may want to be closer to the dominant and help with some Training with Miss Abernathy 9. If you had some b answers, you may fantasize about being used sexually while in the middle of some other task. If you had some d answers, you may also have the makings of an excellent personal secretary. If you chose mostly d answers, you want to be an escort. You have an attractive personality and excellent communication skills.
You enjoy meeting new people and serving in public. If you also had some a answers, you may enjoy a more formal role, at least at home or in private. A few b answers indicate that you would enjoy attending the dominant at BDSM functions and joining in the fun yourself. Lesson 3. Assessing Strengths and Weaknesses When you serve another, you are making a gift of yourself to that person.
Your value as a slave - beyond the basic intrinsic value of your humanity - relates directly to the skills and attitudes you bring to the relationship. At its best, service is a lifelong vocation, and you will never stop learning. Every journey begins somewhere. Exercise: List five things you do very well: cook, type, repair cars, give massages, listen, perform oral sex on men List five things you are embarrassed about not being able to do well: draw, eat with chopsticks, enjoy foreign films List five things you love to do but would never admit to in public: watch professional wrestling, masturbate, eat pork rinds Activity: In the next week, choose one of the items from the second list - things you'd like to learn - and research how you might begin to learn it.
Is there a class you could take? A book you could read? A friend you could ask for help? Begin the journey this week. Lesson 4. Responsibilities of a Slave-in-Training One of the most important responsibilities of a siave-in-iraining is communication.
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You will be required not only to communicate about everyday things and to report on your activities, but you will also be expected to speak frankly about your inner life. In fact, many people cannot, without prompting, name the emotions that they are experiencing at any given moment. It is vital that a slave develop a self-reflective impulse: the habit of examining him- or herself on a regular basis so as to be able to describe accurately and unselfconsciously his or her own state of mind.
The following exercise is designed to help you make the first steps in developing this healthful habit. It is important to keep your hand moving across the page as you answer these questions. Write whatever first comes to mind; your answers are not carved in stone, but are the fluid bubblings of your unconscious mind. You may wish to analyze your answers later, but for now, simply write. Exercise: Complete the following sentences. I imagine myself as a slave being able to As a slave, I wouldn't be allowed to The idea that those things would be forbidden makes me feel,..
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Training with Miss Abernathy I definitely would not want to In my sexiest private fantasy, I I have a secret fetish or Being in a collar would make me feel When I masturbate, I often think about I'd like to learn how to Serving my Master or Mistress in public would make me feel My most erotic memory is I first learned about erotic slavehood when My favorite book is My favorite movie is In my free time, I most often The thing I find most attractive in other people is My highest priority in life is Sometimes I doubt I'll ever be able to I think most of my romantic involvements have been In the past, I was ashamed of I feel I've come to terms with If there's one negative emotion I can't handle, it's When a person raises their voice to me, I The three things I associate with silence are If pressed, I'd identify myself as The biggest influence on my erotic life has been I'd describe my spiritual life as I believe strongly that I've only ever wanted to Ruth Gendler enlightening.
Lesson 5. Risk-taking is an integral part of growth and learning. As you work on the following exercise, you will assess the risks you may take by entering into a slave training program. Often when we start to follow our dreams, we experience conflict with people around us. This conflict can be the result of envy, fear, confusion, or a simple lack of information.
In order to make an informed decision - that is, to give your consent to beginning a training program - you need to look carefully at your relationships and the effect that your new work may have on them. By facing obstacles head-on, you stand the best chance of overcoming them. The same holds true for your work life and your health. Training as a slave will present you with new and exciting challenges. There is no shame in having limits, only in disregarding them. Relationships Exercise: Rate your responses to the following statements. I am most comfortable when in a monogamous relationship.
I am attracted to members of my own gender. In what ways do you imagine slavehood might affect your work? If you quit your job today, where would you stand financially? White Miss Abernathy acknowledges that opinions on child-rearing vary greatly, she feels compelled to express her strong conviction that it is inappropriate - and potentially harmful - to involve children in adult sexual relationships. It is inapproriate to divulge tire details of your private life to any children in your care.
It is also important to assess how any responsibilities you might take on as a slave-in-training would affect your ability to care for children, and make your decisions accordingly. Which book seems more realistic to you? Health Activity: Ask your doctor for a copy of your medical history for your own files. Make a list of all the medications including over-the-counter drugs, medicinal herbs, vitamins, and nutritional supplements that you use. Date the list, and add this to your medical history file. Be sure to update the list as needed.
Activity: If you have not had a thorough general physical for more than three years, schedule an appointment with your doctor for one. This is especially important if you have any unusual health problems. Exercise: Answer the following questions in detail and be scrupulously honest.
A positive answer to any of these questions does not disqualify someone for service. It is vital, in any case, that your trainer have this information to help maintain your personal safety. If you are working without a trainer, consider the implications of your answers. Would a lifestyle change or professional assistance make it easier for you to serve? Do you have any allergies? Do you have any dietary restrictions? Are you vegetarian or vegan? Do you have any chronic illnesses or injuries that trouble you?
What sort of treatment do you use? Do you wear eyeglasses or contact lens? A hearing aid? Do you use any drugs including alcohol or tobacco recreationally? What and how often? Are you currently struggling with an addiction? Are you aware of any body image issues that trouble you? For how long? Are you in recovery from an addiction other than alcohol or drugs? For how tong? Did you suffer any abuse physical, verbal, psychological, sexual, spiritual Have you suffered such abuse as an adult?
How have you learned to heal these wounds? Do you have any history of abusing others? If so, what steps have you taken to change this pattern? Lesson 6. Expectations: the Training Contract The purpose of a training contract is to spell out, in detail, the respective responsibilities of the trainer and the trainee. Such an agreement states that both employer and employee reserve the right to cancel the agreement at will and explains the process for doing so. This generally includes the requirement that either party give written notice the other in the event that the agreement is to be dissolved.
Further, it specifies the starting date of employment, a job If you are working with a trainer, no doubt he or she will have a standard contract for you to examine. If you believe that you will be unable to fulfill any clause of the contract or do not wish to do so, it is your right - indeed, your obligation - to ask for further negotiation until you can reach a mutually agreeable compromise.
How can a slave working independently draw up a contract?
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Since a training contract is an agreement between two or more people, clearly an individual cannot be subject to one. Miss Abernathy instead suggests that such a submissive write a Statement of Purpose in which he or she makes a personal commitment to work through the training program. Since you are essentially both trainer and trainee, be sure to specify the responsibilities you have toward yourself: excellent self-care, sufficient food, sleep, exercise, and recreation, and most of all, compassion. Suggested Reading: Manual, pp. XL Basic Training Lesson 7.
In the strict sense, they would be correct. And what about the situations in which no verbal command is issued? Perhaps you are faced with a difficult choice and the dominant is not present to guide you. Exercise: After you finish reading the instructions for this exercise, but without looking around you first, close your eyes. Now name three things in the room that are behind you, to your right, to your left, and in front of you.
This exercise will have given you some insight into your skills of observation.
The next time you are in an unfamiliar environment, try the exercise again. Does being in a new place change your observations? Now you will learn a technique to help you observe not only your physical surroundings, but also yourself. Activity: Sit comfortably with your spine straight. You may choose to sit in a chair or cross-legged on the floor, as long as you can maintain the position for at least 20 minutes. Do not lie down, as this posture encourages drowsiness.
Now, close your eyes, and draw your attention to your breath. Observe how the breath enters your nostrils as you inhale and exits as you exhale. Focus your awareness on the point where the breath enters and exits. If thoughts or feelings surface -and they will -simply return your attention to your breath. Do not judge or follow your thoughts; simply return to the breath. Count 10 full breaths in and out. When you are finished, slowly become aware of your surroundings.
When you are ready, open your eyes. The purpose of ihis meditation is to help you quiet your mind and to be able to observe the flow of thoughts that arise as you do so. The content of the thoughts is irrelevant. What is important is the insight that the mind is in constant motion, and that it is very difficult to stop or control that motion. We also observe that as thoughts arise, so also do they pass.
Try this meditation every day for at least one week; you may choose to make it a regular part of your training. At first you may only be able to count a single breath before thoughts and feelings come crowding in. This is normal. If you persist - just letting the thoughts pass by like boats on a stream - you will be able to distance yourself from your thoughts and feelings. This distance will allow you the space to name and describe your thoughts and feelings without getting caught up in them.
Suggested Reading: Any book or tape by Fr. Thomas Keating or Thich Nhat Hanh. You need not be Catholic or Buddhist to appreciate the universality of the meditation techniques they teach. Along with awareness of your inner workings, it is important to cultivate awareness of your physical self. Most submissives find it very difficult to hold their bodies still for any length of time, but this is a vital skill for a slave. Activity: For this activity, you will need a watch with an unobtrusive alarm function, ideally one that emits a single beep. You will be carrying this alarm with you through your day.
Set the alarm to sound at 11 minutes past the hour. When the alarm sounds, bring your attention to your physical posture: Where are your hands? Are your legs crossed? Is your back straight? Your jaw tense? Do you feel any pain in your body? Are you moving any part of your body jiggling your leg, chewing on a pencil? Now, reset the alarm for the next hour. Activity: Do you remember the card game Memory? In it, a special deck of cards or two complete standard decks are dealt out face down in even rows.
The first player turns over two cards. If they match, the player removes them from the table and takes another turn. If they do not match, the player turns them back over and the other player takes a turn. Whoever makes the most matches, wins. Try this game alone or with a friend. It will help you to develop better observation skills. Lesson 8. Obedience II: Awareness of Others The slave-in-iraining has to strike a careful balance between self- observation and awareness of others. A slave is often called upon to respond to requests indicated by the slightest hand gesture, the half-smile, the raised eyebrow.
In this lesson, you will learn to tune back in to the important messages. Exercise: Think of someone you've met in the last day or two. Can you give the following information about the person: eye color? How would you characterize their mood or state of mind at the time you met them? Now, think of someone you see daily who is not a close friend. This might be the person who sells newspapers on the corner, the counter person at your Training with Miss Abernathy Can you answer the same questions about them?
A variation on this activity is to read the name tags many retail workers wear and address them by name. List five non-verbal cues for each emotion. Nierenberg and Henry H. Calero is the classic book on body language. Note that their study focuses on white Americans; people of other cultures and ethnic groups within the United States and abroad may use other cues.
Activity: Go to a busy public place, like an outdoor cafe or a park. Close your eyes. Using your other senses, locate the person who is physically closest to you. What can you say about that person? Can you identify their gender, age, or ethnicity? What can you say about their voice? Can you smell perfume or some other scent? How heavy is their tread? Based on the information you gather, how would you describe this person? Now open your eyes. How accurate was your assessment? This activity will teach you three important things: first, to use your senses to their fullest; second, to be aware of the limitations of your senses; and third, to notice the extent to which your assumptions can influence what you perceive and how you interpret sensory input.
It will help you sharpen your observation skills and hone your menial abilities. Lesson 9. Perhaps you found that you slump. Or you chew your nails. Or you chatter when you get nervous. Not only are these habits inappropriate for a slave, but in dealing with them early on in your training, you will gain the added benefit of developing another vital skill: self-discipline. Activity: Continue to practice the focusing meditation described in Lesson 7. Meditate for 10 minutes daily, and gradually increase your practice until you are meditating for 20 minutes at a sitting, twice a day. Exercise: Name five individuals who embody the virtue of self-discipline for you.
They may be public figures or people known to you personally. What can you learn from them? Suggested Reading: Read a biography of one of your personal models for self-disciplme. Note the challenges that person faced and how he or she overcame them. Lesson Slave Journal: The Discipline of Self-Disclosure By now you will have started to develop the skills necessary to name your emotions and needs more clearly. These skills have an outer and an inner component.
On the outer side, you will be better able to inform your trainer of any difficulties that arise and will be able to answer probing questions about your current state of mind. On the inner side, you will also be cultivating for yourself the habit of Self-Observation. Increased Training with Miss Abernathy The present lesson provides yet another technique for communicating with your trainer and working out your own processes. Starling this week, you will keep a written account of your life in the form of a slave journal.
If you are working with a trainer, you will be turning over your journal to that person at regular intervals for evaluation. It can be more or less detailed, more or less accurate, more or less honest, but it cannot be more or less correct. The only way you can fail at keeping a slave journal is by not writing in it. Activity: Buy a special notebook or diary to use as a slave journal.
It need not be fancy or expensive, although if a blank bound book is within your means, you may find it lends an aura of gravity to the act of writing. But even if your slave journal is a cent spiral-bound notebook, it is an important facet of your training. You should also make sure that you have a pen not a pencil with which you can write easily for hall an hour.
What should you write in your journal? Entries need not be long, and they do not even have to relate directly to the training process. What is important is the regularity with which you write and the effort you put into naming your emotions and experiences. Activity: Review the affirmations exercise in Lesson 1. Use one of the suggested sentences or compose one of your own. Before you begin to write, kneel down as you are able for a minute and clear your mind. Visualize yourself speaking openly and honestly with your trainer or Owner whom you trust implicitly. Imagine that person responding firmly, but with deep understanding and care.
Now, repeat your chosen affirmation: I devote myself to service. I serve for my benefit and that of others. By serving, I fulfill my highest calling.
Then write in your journal. When you have finished, repeat your affirmation quietly to yourself. Exercise: This exercise is for slaves who wish to use the slave journal as a preliminary tool leading to voice-training. Do not use it until you have been writing regularly for at least one month.
Try writing in your journal without using the capital "I" to refer to yourself. Later, you may want to avoid personal pronouns and possessives altogether: this slave spent the day cleaning Mistress's boots and was content. List three possible solutions to this problem, Suggested Reading: Written to help creatively blocked artists, Julia Cameron's best-selling book. Voice-Training I: Silence It may seem ironic, but the first step in voice-training is learning when not to speak. For slaves, this will be most of the time. If you have been working at the meditation practice suggested in earlier lessons, you are becoming more accustomed to silence.
We live in a frightfully noisy world, and it is important for you as a slave-in-training to be able to filter out background distractions and focus on the task at hand. Developing inner silence is one effective technique to accomplish this. Another is the simple practice of choosing silence. Exercise: Sit quietly in your home with a pen and paper. For five minutes, just listen, as if you were listening to a piece of music.
Then write down everything you can remember hearing. Activity: At least once during this week, consciously choose silence. If you are accustomed to chatting with co-workers during your lunch break, eat out Training with Miss Abernathy If you suffer a petty insult on the street, do not respond. If you are tempted to make a cutting remark, stop. Say nothing. Just once.
If you usually listen to the radio in the car or watch television in the evening, take a day off. Notice how external silence helps you focus on the internal voices Voice-Training II: Forms of Address Whether they realize it or not, most slaves do have a certain level of voice-training. In non-scene life, what dictates when you use such a title? What cues verbal or non-verbal tell you to show respect by using a title? Is it possible to be disrespectful while using a formal title? What titles have you been called? Exercise: Select a title that denotes dominance to you, and for one week, address your slave journal entries to that figure of authority.
Do you find that your tone changes? Are there things you neglect or choose not to write? Why or why not? Suggested Reading: Any secretarial handbook will list political, academic, and military forms of address. Familiarize yourself with them.
Note that the form used to address the individual directly sometimes differs from the form used in correspondence or when referring to someone indirectly. Personal Care and Fitness for Slaves When you spend a great deal of time caring for the needs and desires of others, it is all too easy to forget to care for yourself. How many times So no matter how pretty your manners, how manifold your accomplishments, if you are lacking in matters of personal hygiene, you will not go far as a slave.
Slaves cannot afford to be overly fussy in matters of appearance, but they neglect the basics of the toilette at their peril. Exercise: List all of the personal care products you use: soap, shampoo, toothpaste, moisturizer, shaving cream Activity: If you use only the most basic grooming aids soap, shampoo, and toothpaste, say , indulge in some bath oil or a scented soap. If you have more shades of lipstick than the Queen has jewels, try spending a weekend using just the basics. Activity: Treat yourself to a manicure, pedicure, facial, or massage or all of these at a day spa or salon.
Alternatively, you can create a spa experience for yourself at home. Basic fitness is also important for a slave. A light exercise program Training with Miss Abernathy A brisk daily walk and some simple stretches or yoga postures will do wonders for both your body and your spirit. Activity: Rent or purchase an exercise video that teaches basic stretches or yoga. Establish a simple exercise regime for yourself: a walk around the park, some deep knee bends and shoulder rolls If you work at a desk, be sure to get up at least once every thirty minutes to avoid tension and injury.
For further training, see the lessons on shaving and cleansing enemas and douches. Men's magazines like GO and Details offer grooming lips as well. In our culture, women are all Loo often inundated with advice on how to make themselves more attractive, most of it rubbish. Beyond the basics of cleanliness, sufficient sleep, and good posture, forget everything you've read about the wonders of cosmetics.
What holds for men, holds for you, with or without Miraculous Anti-Wrinkle Gel. Fidgeting is unbecoming in a slave. Luckily if you will , modern life affords us all ample opportunity to practice our waiting skills. Activity: The next time you find yourself waiting - in line at the supermarket, on hold on the telephone - try this simple exercise. Observe your body and adopt an alert but relaxed posture.
If you are standing, try moving your legs apart slightly so that you can balance evenly on both legs, rather than shifting your weight from side to side. Keep your knees slightly bent, not straight. Now, quiet your mind by breathing slowly and evenly. If you have been meditating regularly, this process will have become almost second nature. Allow your eyes to maintain a soft focus on the floor approximately six feet in front of you. Repeat your chosen affirmation to yourself silently.
One of the most common errors slaves-in-training make is to fidget with their hands. This next activity will help you become aware of your hands. Activity: Stand with your weight balanced evenly on both feet, remembering to keep your knees bent ever-so-slightly. Allow your arms to hang comfortably at your sides. Consciously tense your hands by balling them into fists, and then release. Pianists will recognize this as the correct hand position for keyboards as well. Now sit down on a straight-backed chair and rest your hands palms-down on your thighs.
Now turn your hands palms up, Again, they retain the natural shape when relaxed, without stress or strain on the arms or wrists. This is a pretty, receptive posture and should be adopted when sitting or kneeling. Activity: Stand and hold your arms behind your back with your hands together over the base of your spine. You may have to hold one of your wrists with the other hand.
See how long you can maintain this posture without fatigue. Activity: Kneel on a soft surface like a rug or folded bath towel. Rest your buttocks on your ankles. Position your hands in the receptive posture described above and lower Training with Miss Abernathy Try to stay in this position for five minutes without moving. Safety Warning: If you have knee problems or feel any pain when kneeling, do nol do it. Practice standing instead.
Always be sure to inform your trainer if you experience any physical discomfort from a posture. Suggested Reading: For information on other useful basic postures, see Manual, pp. Voice Commands and Body Positions Slaves must be able to respond to verbal commands without hesitation. If you are asked to move, you should do so quickly, but gracefully. Do not run unless specifically commanded to, as it greatly increases the risk of accidents.