Pregnant in spite of plan b, nonchalance, magic and my non-pregnancy-inclusive plans. I had no idea. I understood in a quiet inner way that I only had a few minutes to get myself downstairs, and that I needed immediate help if I was going to live. A friend rushed me to the hospital where I, with no insurance, learned that I was pregnant and it was ectopic and I was lucky to live in a time when I could survive it. And I would be losing my left fallopian tube.
I rarely date men frankly it never seems to go that well, in spite of my earnest pansexual leanings. So rarely that when my dad heard the news, I think he seriously considered the possibility that I was involved in a biblical birth. When I got to the hospital, I told them I was pretty sure my appendix had burst. They said it was more likely that I was pregnant. I was adamant, I made my case of how that was impossible, asked them through clenched teeth to focus on the real problem.
I had two that night, humans who stepped over into a beam of light. I will forever be grateful for the convergence of events that led to my strange and lovely support team that night, and getting to see the particular goodness that can emerge in crisis. It was cold, and scary, the pain was nonstop, and there was a torturous internal ultrasound.
I both survived and increased my pain by laughing, and it was worth it. There was some time between learning I was pregnant and learning for sure that it was ectopic and surgery would be immediate, my hour of conscious pregnancy. I was in the middle of a book tour. So, if you want something to exist, you must first be able to imagine it. Therefore, the Great Spirit may show them many things that older people miss. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.
Occasionally, I find an answer. There are seven million. Are you faking it? A stick can be a magic wand. A sock can be a puppet. A small child can be a superhero. As they find out more about their world and their place in it; they work hard not to let adults hurry them.
Rumi quotes on life and self love
We need to hear their voices. You grow old because you stop laughing. I think this article is ridiculously stupid. Be exactly who you are. Essentially this article is asking you to be everything that human being are not. Just be who you are. Find people who like you, for you! Someone asked about applying this to parenting. My daughter sent it to me, and I am sending it to my other daughter and sister. I have been working on most of these, and know they are all helpful when we are open to the comments.
Find the good and worthwhile and leave the rest for someone else. Nuf said. Thanks so much. Thank you. My husband has been out of the house for over a year now and has made my life hell. I often wondered if he had a mental illness, not because of my anger but because of some of the things I witnessed during the last two years of our living together and his complete erratic behavior now. I think I also suspect he does because some of the same behaviors I am noticing in my son who has been tested and shows signs of ADHD.
Great article! For me, the difficulty was learning HOW to give these things up. Just announcing I was giving them up, or trying to force it, fake it, or beat myself up for failing never worked. This is amazing knowledge posted here. Thank you again — Keith. The article should open with the premise that people suffer when they are self-absorbed, self-centered and self-focused.
What an overly simplistic representation of the world! Most of your points seem to imply that ignorance is bliss — not something we want to teach future generations. There is a way to be happy, and to find beauty in the world AND criticize it so we can make it better. Complacency is not the answer to happiness, betterment is. In order to create something better, you first need to let go of the not so good in your life.
If you want to new furniture in your apartment, you will not put the new one on top of the old one, right? I must say that everything is tied together such as stopping making excuses will help with ego. We protect our ego with our excuses. One more that we should give up, is: Give up being selfish. Being selfish is the first step to unhappiness. We believe we will be happy if we give to ourselves. The reality is that we reflect our emotions. So when somebody does something good and makes us smile, we get a deeper sense of happiness. If we all do it, we can all be happy.
Ultimately, being selfless is the ultimate act of selfishness, since through our actions of kindness we receive more love and in turn we become happier…. I have trouble giving up attachment to the relationship with my son. I agree. They each have their own rules, some of which overlap. CRITICISM is one of the most self destructing tools you may use, however high u hold your ideologies, be sure that they are not as high as you think of them!
Hi Purpose Fairy, and I must admit it seems strange writing that; I had a friend on Facebook add a link to this article and I found it useful and accurate. After reading a few of the comments, I thought it may be valuable to add that I have a website and blog, Eight Facets, which concerns what I think is the most effective and quickest way to change outdated habits into ones which lead to happiness.
I have written a book on the topic of just this, which was published in February. Thanks again. And bravo for writing it so simply and matter-of-factly, just like it should be practiced. I agree with all of these except That is the stupidest concept I have ever heard of. Attachment IS part of love. If you deattach from everyone and everything in your life — where will you be?
Obviously its very unhealthy, so why would you encourage people to do something like that? Laura, when you are attached to things, people places, you do it from a place of fear, fear that you might one day lose all of them, and that is now real love. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. Being detached from them does not imply you love them not, on the contrary, it shows a great deal of wisdom and understanding about life. You can read more about this here:. I agree with you, Laura. Decades of psychological research has demonstrated how essential it is for people to form secure attachments to others.
We are all born hard-wired to attach, to form into groups, tribes, families… Connections and attachments build communities, promote compassion and empathy, and give a sense of identity and belonging that all people need. Yes, attachments may open you up to pain in this life… but that is not a reason to avoid them in the pursuit of happiness. Most of the things on the list are fairly easy to give up. Thanks for the reminder! Fabulous post. Not patting myself on the back here, just sharing my experience.
I clicked on this thinking it would be about giving up smoking and dairy and stuff but this was much better:. I, recently, had a breakthrough! I decided to give up on what people were telling me to do and do what I really wanted. I believe that God has more me and am going on a year-long mission trip. I would love if you followed my journey. Why does everything have to revolve around happiness? As if happiness itself was the ultimate goal of existence. Happiness is the name we give to our half witted understanding of that part of the complex cognitive machinery that in one way or another makes us get things done.
Happiness is not an insatiable god we have to worship. Give up being right? Why would I? Give up control? This sort of hippie buddhist laissez-faire sounds totally counterproductive to me. Things would never get done with that strategy. This is a first step to change things for the better. Pretty much agree with everything you just said, particularly re.
My favourite point by far is Interesting post and comments. However, the title itself made me recoil. It is very destructive indeed. There is wisdom in forgiveness and turn the other cheek. Living the examined life is paramount, and part of that examination is the acknowledgement of evil and sadism in the world.
Right now, organized groups of men are seeking to harm women through ugly legislation. Now, once we have taken the time to listen, and understand that these men are truly dedicated to harming women, we are left with very real and stark choices. We can look away. We can not be critical, and hope that things improve. Or we can look, reason, use every sense we possess, all our experience, our empathy and self-preservation, and stand against the evil.
I cannot stand by and watch the progress we have made harm my daughter. Trust, but verify, THEN look on the bright side.
- The Perennial Wisdom of A Course in Miracles?
- Game of Souls (The Quintessence Cycle Book 1).
- Water-Insoluble Drug Formulation, Second Edition.
Oh dear! My apologies. My comments on fear was in regards to 11, not 10, as I noted. So sorry. I would like to say that 10 is not a wholly healthy perspective. There are things you should generally be concerned about that are real threats e. Thanks for your input. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
I gave up on all those things and guess what?! Oh if i could but do half of these things. My great big FAT ego allways stands out in front and acts like the coolaid guy bustin in the wall!!! Well done. I would add this… Give up trying to do everything at once. My experience of people who follow this way of life is that they are very self centred and uncaring about other people, not my idea of an ideal parent or partner. The only way of living with them is to become like them and that does not appeal to me.
I also believe the world would be a worse place. On the surface, I thought this was mostly pretty good advice. I know someone who could benefit. But this person has also been very self-centered, and following these tips would do nothing but paper over that problem. Wonderful to read this this morning. Trying to find yourself? We do not have to search for ourselves, because when we become aware that is our true self, the start anyway. I cannot explain it very well, but on reading his books, have found true peace with myself, my true self. I think no. Critical thinking allows one to elevate beyond the criticism of differences, and to start asking why things and people are different, what that means for who I am, and what that means for my place in the diversity of the world.
The trick is to strike a balance between that type of critical thinking and having a clear happy way of being. The type of criticism to give up is the the kind that is unproductive. Looks like you have some great insights and essays. Are you a life coach? Have a great one! Happiness is were I will be and if it causes stress Im learning to walk away.
To be happy, one just need to be content on what they have. It easier said that done. Technically this is more achievable. Love this post. Now i have a list tackle it all! I have some relatives with mental illness. Their illness has become part of my problems too. Please believe me that I know it is tough and they have been dealt some bad cards. I try to understand and help when I can. But tackling some, not all of things on this list, is helpful for everybody.
I so like this! I have been working on all of these. Can you plz elaborate point number 14 with a very thought provoking example. Will be really great. I love this post but you can do or not that the point we are human being but I will try ,when I read this to my love he give me a lovely look. You are so right. Oh, I know that I have overcome even these things, as a great many have everyday of their lives or every other day, should I say.
There is also, I believe the agreement each of us made before coming into this world, to be in a situation or with certain people that we can help to learn. I have a problem with what is referred to as the subject of attachment. People are devoid of attachment, when we are speaking of persons, places or things. What this means is some people not all but there are some which need validation, but do not require it in another form or other.
I am aware that infers a contradiction of the sort. What we can draw to a conclusion is that there exists a conflict, or a struggle to identify what acts as attachment then from not. If you read me properly, I feel attachment on many different levels but it DOES nothing to inform me from the benefits of it. I may see attachment in the manner which I seek it. Therefore, I see some superficial aspects as well.
I call that a double standard. To approach the various levels of attachment I care to submit myself to, I know I speak in a language unfamiliar to incur what those aspects actually may be. Maybe they are true, maybe they are not. I feel insecurity just like all people do, in order to identify if they person x y or z only rather benefit from it themselves without expending anything at all.
Attachment resembles a quality of something along the lines of inferiority, that people aim with, for something they want not that THEY need. What a great article. Take control of your mind. Your mind is to serve you. To give you answers to your questions and retrieve things in memory. Stop it from controlling you with its thoughts. Put your attention on your immediate present and dismiss interfering thoughts your mind produces to take you out of presence. Recognize the fears for what they are and dismiss them rather than entertain them and let your mind control you with fearful thoughts.
Focus on the pleasures available to you in each moment. Focus on the positive and make note of the negative. Focus on solutions to problems and take your attention off the problem itself. Recognize, acknowledge and dismiss the fears underlying emotions that arise when you think about the problem. Start smiling.
Force yourself if you have to, but keep it coming because it will eventually flow freely. Every time a negative thought or statement is delivered by you or someone else, create a thought or statement that is the exact opposite. The opposite must exclude the original negative word. Every word you speak is recorded in your cells. Negative, words, statements and thoughts lowers your vibration. When you think positive thoughts, take positive actions and speak positive words you raise your vibration. Separate yourself from negative people and situations.
Think of yourself first. Take a stand for yourself. Treat yourself with the utmost respect. Recognize when others are trying to engage you in their negative creations and patterns, and disengage quickly. Walk talk and be proud. Reward your loving self and stop punishing yourself for negative thoughts your mind creates.
Recognize the behaviors you have programmed into you as a result of fears created by your mind.
Let go of those behaviors and let your loving heart — the true you before all the bullshit, be the one that participates in and enjoys life and is the one everyone gets to know. I like how anyone who disagrees with you gets deleted. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it. From personal experience — I believe suicide is a call from the spirit world when are ego is not happy with the matierial world.
My mental illness grew from delusions of grandeur I my ego spent years cultivating. I do believe the spirits help us on this plane when we are open to the next demension. The Course of Miracles is a great way to see with Love rather than the illlusions of fear. Love is in the air — breathe!
5 Tools For More Miracles Now - Elyse Santilli
I can be a tad bit cynical. This is like all those people running around trying to get into heaven. What control queen wrote this nonsense? Thanks for this! I now have a huge piece I can make for my office wall! I think I need to copy this and carry it around with me so I can read it daily. Thanks for sharing. This is just what I needed today! Great article, thank you so much. I recently got out of a relationship and a LOT of the above listed were present in the relationship. It hurts right now very much but I know it was for the best. I see in the post s that there are others out there that are working on finding a happier place, much as i myself am.
I would like to suggest that those of us with problems with any of the above should sit and contemplate how these affect us and how each of us as individuals can make them work for ourselves rather than pick them apart and try and make a bad situation out of a well meant and helpful posting.
The author is not perfect and would probably not claim to be, merely trying to help there fellow travelers down this often confusing road that we call life. Thank you Lucius for putting into words exactly what I would tell others. NOT excuses! After self medicating for 15yrs. I knew I needed help. Been on meds never abused them , and in Therapy off and on for almost 30 yrs.
I could not count the times I wished, prayed, I was physically ill with something instead of my mental illnesses. I am still a Christian, and know someday I will get answers for this. I know God heals. I have seen miricles. Just not my time. I also know God did not cause the abuse to happen to me, it was a choice of my parents to do what was done.
I know others have been through worse. I left church 3yrs. I know I have to forgive, to be forgiven. God help me as You have all my life. You are not alone. But do seek help. I have seen it work for others. Never give up! Each afirmation makes it that bit closer. Thank you for post such a wonderful blog. Keep up the great writing! And thanks to this article I can add to my list. Thank You for this article, Purpose Fairy. I remember a few years back when I was just as how you described.
Somewhere during that time probably because of my stressful job , I lost my way and became a lot more bitter and upset than usual. A lot of these action steps will help me better myself and bring out the old side of me again and help move forward with my life. Great list, and awesome insight. Some I have been able to let go, but others are still a challenge. What a great list. I have been working on many of these, and your list brings a few others to mind. I will print this out and put it somewhere I will see it frequently.
The loss of a pet is a reason to grieve and to mourn. Those are okay. And, believe it or not, it is also okay to laugh when you hear that someone you loved passed on. Use one suggestion to live into another:. Give up your attachments that say Death is a Negative.
How to Manifest Life-Changing Miracles
Give up living up to expectation, it says. Give up on the fact that trauma defines who you are. It does not suggest these are easy tasks! They apply to the Big Stuff, too. Be challenged by what you read here; if you need a blog to tell you to stop complaining, and blaming other people, so be it, but that is not what it was written for. But the sooner one is willing to face the past giving it up would be to reject the experiences that formed you, which would leave you without a reference point — why would we want that?
Give up on your fears. Fear is not an illusion. If we create it, then it exists. Thank you Lucius for your clarity, it has been insightful-dealing with lost friendships… Purpose fairy is a wonderfully appropriate name, god bless. Lucius, I absolutely agree to you response. Also, Chrisfer, I, too was hurt when I read comment When someone has a mental illness, they still strive to better themselves.
Many mental illnesses can be treated with medication. Having said that, I must add that when a mental illness is made stable through medication, that person who suffers from it oftentimes wants to feel normal. An article such as this would then target them as an audience just as much as a person who is not mentally ill. Danaadmin, please do not exclude people that suffer from a mental illness. You cannot possibly understand them unless you have been in their situation. Otherwise, keep writing uplifting articles.
Just remember to carefully word your responses to the resonses. There is a few I have to work on. Because of our talk, I thankfully have given up quite a bit. I relied on others for information. NOW I have the only one in me heart to go to and who is the chief healer. I, as we all should be going to the Lord forever. In the world we look at so many different views and have not only our habits, but seem to take on others.
Again, thank you. Previous therapy sessions never touched me as deeply as this piece just did. Although everyone could benefit, this should be required reading for ACoA. Since I doubt anyone is going to disagree with you, while I agree with most of these some of these are not only counter-intuitive but are also anti-motivational and simply put, horrible advice. Also engaging in short term things that make you happy will have long term consequences. Give up the need for Control: this should be give up the need to control external things.
Yes you might be happy shoving your face with ice cream, but ultimately this lack of personal control will lead to obesity and sadness. Give up complaining: in certain contexts you definitely should complain especially when it has impact. If the government is doing something that is going to destroy your life, again complain.
There is a certain amount of complaining that is necessary otherwise you will become apathetic. There is nothing wrong with going the extra mile because you know it will impress people. Putting in more time in the office, or spending more time at gym. While these things might remove short-term happiness they can give you greater long term happiness. This should be available in a large poster format. It would be a perfect constant reminder plastered on my office wall. This post does an excellent job of speaking to all people who, at one time or another, have experienced and can relate to all fifteen items it addresses.
I think for people who have been diagnosed with having a mental illness, continuing to communicate with a professional is a helpful solution and should be continued.
- The Heretical Archive: Digital Memory at the End of Film;
- Mein Körper in neun Teilen (German Edition).
- Miracles Quotes ( quotes);
- What is the Law of Attraction?;
- Three Men in a Boat;
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However, if you think that this post does not relate to you then you are mistaken. To think that your illness will not allow you to act on these lessons as they are presented is a falsehood. I have been depressed and suicidal myself. I have experienced the transformation first hand of rising out of the darkness into light. For others in dark places or have had a doctor tell them that they have a chemical imbalance that causes them to act a certain way, it is never too late to change your brain. The human brain is elastic and it can be changed. It can be changed into something entirely different through training and practice.
Never give up on hope and never limit yourself or deny your ability to becoming a positive, happy person. With the exception of severe trauma or a physical impairment within the brain, the only limitations in life are self-inflicted.
- Tag: miracles.
- Petit Pierre, il était une foi (French Edition);
- Sagittarius: Personal Horoscopes 2012;
Our minds can just as easily think positively as it can think negatively. Considering this, the satisfaction of life depends solely on the choices that an individual chooses to make and how they react to those choices. Be well and choose to see life as it is and nothing more. Live simply, slowly and always be aware and observing of the environment.
I read this whole article today, and I am so glad that I did. I have lost who I am, and what it is I enjoy, besides being a Mom, I really have no other joy in my life. My life has almost always been about doing for others……..
Membership = LOVE
I have always thought that it was a selfish act to think only about what I want and enjoy. My life has taken many, many directions in my 51 years and it is hard to stay on the path that takes me where I need to be. Old habits are very hard to break. I literally make myself sick over what to do to change this mindset. I am ever so gratefull for the person that sent this to me right now am dealing with a lot of stuff that was mentioned here ,this has open up a new way of thinking for me ,am happy that i took the time to read it through ,i plan on reading this everyday until i come to the place that am suppose to be at ,thank you honey thank you…..
I will take a mental note of what happened and why, learn from it and move on. I cant just put myself first and be true to myself. I cant, there is too much pain in this world. To Lucius, I was happy to see your thoughtful and eloquent response. I have been dealing with depression all my life and have been diagnosed since the age of It took me many years to understand why I was often moved by something but unable to apply the principles that impressed me in my life.
I could have saved myself years of frustration. What I needed to be reading was works by wise people like you: my kind of normal. Is this what poor people do to pass the time? Happiness is life without worry, without concern over serious problems, and the only thing that fixes that is money. Literally all these issues are alleviated if you have enough money. I would add just one more to this list. And that is to remove the word hate from your mind. If there is no hate then only true love can exsist. Try not. Do… or do not. There is no try. These are interesting and philosophically curious.
There is a fine line between spinelessness or indifference and blissfulness. This line is not absense but presense, which often takes a great deal of control—self-control not control of others. But, what do I know. I am facing my second divorce and have spent much of my life soul searching. This is a fabulous post!